R Kelly: Untitled
R Kelly: Untitled
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By Darren Estwick. |  |
Monday, 30, Nov 2009 08:48
Sony, out now.
What's it all about?
R Kelly was meant to release this last year but after the CD - then titled 12 Play: 4th Quarter - was leaked online, he decided against it and instead recorded a brand new project, his first after, you know, the whole child sex thing.
Who's it by?
R Kelly is no stranger to danger. A lengthy court case after alleged child pornography was found circulating online involving him and a 14-year-old ended with R being acquitted.
He deflected this situation with the wonderfully ridiculous Trapped in the Closet which, as its viewers will agree, is the finest hip-hopera going, masterfully using one tune throughout a massive story to such a degree that it has spawned countless rip-offs and a load of drinking games.
As an example...
"Can't nobody do it like us/Can't nobody mix, chop and screw it like us/All over the living room hittin' it like us/In the middle of the night wake up the building like us." - Number One (featuring Keri Hilson)
What the others say
"Back on the prowl, same as it ever was. Who needs album titles?" - Greg Kot, Chicago Tribune
"He's coasting here, no doubt about it, but no one can coast like he can." - Andy Kellman, allmusic
So is it any good?
No.
Seriously, if we have to listen to this man talking about his sexual prowess any more than he already has done - particularly in light of allegations levelled against him in court, which he overcame - then it may be possible to conclude that R Kelly is purposefully trying to make himself a massive laughing stock.
It's best demonstrated in Number One, his single with the altogether more talented Keri Hilson, with R banging on his skills in the bedroom. Let's take this example of his outstanding songwriting skills: "Number one/Sex that we're having/Here girl/Ooh/Sex that we're having here girl/You better ask somebody".
Yeah, alright mate, you've had sex, let it go. It's times like this when you wonder how he's actually employed by the industry, who his target audience is (joking aside) and exactly how he gets awards for this.
It may sound harsh but I'm a big fan of Trapped in the Closet, so if anything I feel a little let down by his inability to match in Untitled the sheer quality of such scenes as the one where a woman's cheating on her partner with a cherry pie-eating midget who's hiding under the sink. It was one of the most heart-rending moments in cinematic history, emphasised by the way he rhymed "Bitch move!" and "She moves!". Bam. That quality of songwriting is not on show here.
The sex theme continues as well. Text Me sees him going on about his favourite activity as well, while the subtly-titled Bangin' the Headboard and Pregnant truly give the game away before you listen to them, through gritted teeth and with hands over your face.
Still, two factors work well for the lad. Firstly, some songs aren't that bad; I Love the DJ isn't too painful, while Supaman High is also a good effort.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, there's NO WAY this man can be fully serious about his actions. It's just embarrassing if he is. After this, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt; otherwise it'd be lower for this already poor effort.
4/10
Matt Gardner