Alphabeat: The Beat Is...
Alphabeat: The Beat Is...
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Friday, 05, Mar 2010 03:44
By Steve McConnell.
Polydor, out now.
What's it all about?
Latest album from the plucky Danes which represents a massive shift in style and sound. 11 tracks, although they probably could have fitted it all into three.
Who's it by?
Alphabeat had a couple of big hits last year, and even got dragged along on tour by Lady Gaga on her Monster Ball tour. This album is a big change, no hint of guitars or sunshine cheeriness here.
As an example.
"Slow down, going out my mind but it's fine, don't mind, I really don't mind it. No fright gotta hang tight, ignite, and come to life, I've got to get it out." - Always up With You.
What the others say
"One wonders if those responsible for this platter of past-perishable pop mimicry, these clichéd regurgitations of ubiquitous motifs, are indeed the same Danes who wowed admirers of sparkly melodies and insatiable hooks only a single springtime equinox ago." - Mike Diver, BBC Music.
"Thus jittery piano riffs and hands-in-the-air breakdowns abound, while singer Stine hollers dancefloor doggerel. Facile it may be, but the brazen euphoria of tunes such as "Hole in My Heart" and "The Right Thing" proves mightily irresistible." - Hugh Montgomery, the Observer.
So is it any good?
No, it's bloody awful. The entire album is shockingly derivative and bears little resemblance to the bright, poppy hit singles that made the band a known entity last spring. Songs like Hole in my Heart and Always up With You could have been released any time in the last 20 years, and evidently Alphabeat are out of ideas. There's retro, and there's ripoff. Surely the music-consuming public have all had enough of that jarring, painfully 90s piano work. Remember No Limit by 2 Unlimited? Most of the album is like that, exactly like that. Why they needed six people to make it is a mystery.
It's a real shame because there's a lot of cool stuff going on in dance music right now, and this isn't it. It's very inconsistent as well: not all of the tracks are quite as anachronistic as the ones mentioned above, but songs like The Beat Is and Heart Failure sound like they should be on JT's Future Sex/Love Sounds. Timbaland anyone? All of the songs fall under one of these two categories, and it's all so hopelessly, irredeemably clichéd and played out that you have to wonder why they even bothered releasing it at all. Even more shamefully, the vocals of Stine Bramsen are mixed very low, severely undermining what is an undeniably impressive singing performance.
And you will be subjected to it. The songs are ready-made for cheesy club nights, and no doubt some of them will go down a storm. In a way, that's all Alphabeat are meant to be: music to dance to. But unless you've already had a few drinks, this garbage won't be getting you up on your feet any time soon. And God help you if you have to listen to the album all the way through.
The title track's OK. Listen to the title track, shrug, and go on with your life.
2/10