The Spy Next Door
Jackie Chan in The Spy Next Door
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By Adam Leveridge
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Monday, 15, Mar 2010 01:17
Directed by Brian Levant, starring Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, George Lopez, Billy Ray Cyrus, in cinemas March 19th, running time 92 mins.
What's it all about?
Lionsgate/Relativity Media action comedy The Spy Next Door sees Jackie Chan as Chinese secret agent Bob Ho, working on his last case for the CIA before settling down to a life of domesticity with next door neighbour and girlfriend Gillian (Valletta). When an illness in Gillian's family means Bob's left in charge of her three kids, he's finally got a chance to win over the trio, only for a spot of accidental downloading by Gillian's son Ian (Shadley) to send Bob's old life as a spy crashing into his new home.
Who's in it?
Martial arts and action veteran Jackie Chan (Rush Hour, Shanghai Noon, The Tuxedo) is joined by model and actress Amber Valletta (The Transporter 2, Hitch), singer Billy Ray Cyrus (Hannah Montana), Magnus Scheving (Lazytown) and child actors Madeleine Carroll, Will Shadley and Alina Foley.
As an example...
"Aw heck, don't get married! Just find a woman you're gonna hate in five years and give her your house." - Colton
What the others say
"A mirthless, unimaginative piece of entertainment." - Brent Simon, Screen International
"As for Mr Chan, he has some passably choreographed bits with folding chairs, a bicycle and, later, some pots and pans at Gillian's house. But it's hardly enough to redeem - or even make bearable - this half-hearted hodgepodge." - AO Scott, New York Times
So is it any good?
After two decades as Asia's biggest box office star, Jackie Chan's transition to Hollywood blockbusters was smartly handled by pairing him with the lively comic presences of a Chris Tucker or an Owen Wilson. But without the buddy banter of the Rush Hour and Shanghai franchises and with shockingly amateurish direction from Levant (Snow Dogs, Are We There Yet?), The Spy Next Door sees Chan flounder with a script more suited to a 20-minute Nickelodeon cartoon. Levant worsens the TV movie tone with flashy cutting and tiresome wipes while the quality of Chan's English - seemingly poorer than ever - isn't helped by three supremely annoying child actors and a villain whose Icelandic accent swamps his apparent attempt at Russian.
It's fine for under-tens, with some well-choreographed if lightweight fight scenes. But anyone older will be maddened by the almost universally poor acting (only Valletta emerges with any credit), cartoonish plot and a script laden with awkward pauses. Every potential laugh is missed, every extra gawps as if they've never set foot on a soundstage before and the telegraphed emotional moments see Chan seemingly adhering to the 'smell the fart' acting style of Friends' Joey Tribbiani.
The Spy Next Door is brainless fun for younger children but never funny enough or made with sufficient skill to command the attention of teens and adults.
3/10
Lewis Bazley