The Break Up Bible: 101 True Stories to Make You Glad You're Single by Ruth Graham
The Break Up Bible is out just in time for Valentine's Day
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Wednesday, 31, Jan 2007 05:27
Published by Know the Score Books, out now, paperback, 144 pages, £4.99.
In a nutshell.
Cynical. Cringy. Anti-men. Stereotyping.
What's it all about?
A compendium of true break-up stories told by the victims of their own poor choices. The Break Up Bible doesn't contain handy tips to help a newly single girl to uncover her forgotten sassy self, but instead seems to embrace the idea that all men are the same.
The author claims the book is a "perfect antidote" after splitting from a boyfriend and shamelessly capitalises on the singleton stereotype, saying the "jaw-dropping" tales can be enjoyed by the reader in her egg-stained gown, sipping Pinot Grigio while watching Bridget Jones.
Who's it by?
Essentially the book is by a variety of women, from Becky in Bolton to Alex in Chicago. However, the author credit goes to Ruth Graham who in the book thanks the "great" ladies who shared their anecdotes with her and inspired her to "get the hell out of" her relationship.
Ruth is a 40-something former stand-up comic from Yorkshire who writes full-time and teaches belly dancing on the side.
As an example.
"I knew it was (finally) over, when I sat sobbing on my boyfriend's doorstep, ten minutes after he'd finished with me. He sent me a text saying 'Go. Away. Now. Or I will throw a bucket of water on you." - Claire, Hounslow
Likelihood of becoming a Hollywood blockbuster
Please no. The stories in this book will make even Bridget Jones cringe, as they lack her charm.
So is it any good?
This book achieves the opposite of what it sets out to do: make women happy that they are without a man. Instead, the anecdotes seem to highlight the sadness of their situation - and in some instances made this (female) writer side with the men who are supposed to be vilified.
It's hard to sympathise with Sophie from London for example, who dumped a guy for picking her up wearing a pink shirt.
Or Jenny from Devon who dated a Moroccan guy but ditched him because he "just looked such a t**t" when he participated in traditional dancing.
Cruel Caroline from Birmingham might identify, as her boyfriend got booted because he walked with a bump - the result of a cycling accident.
Cerys from Newport's van driving ex is probably also better off without her, since she thought "it had to end" because of his method of transport. "I'm not a van and ladder type of girl," she said.
Reading through the stories of these women, who are likely to remind you of your sweet friend who keeps looking at her loser lover through rose-tinted glasses, you are more likely to cringe or cry rather than laugh or sigh with relief at your single status.
Cynicism abounds in this "comedic" book and this is certainly not the kind of thing a suddenly single girl will appreciate. Get them He's Just Not That Into You instead.
There's one laugh-out-loud story: Fiona from West Midlands got a different kind of sweet revenge years after she got dumped. Her kids are in the same school as her ex's offspring, but as she explains: "Thankfully, it's not my kids that are referred to as 'the ginger hobbits in year four'."
2/10
Karen Moller
"I COMPLETELY AGREE!!!! The book is a complete waste of time! If I wanted to hear about some pathetic teenage girl whine about her problems I'd ask my friends!" - Amber Jae