Quirkies: Porn on the news, prisoner breaks back into jail and Osama loves Whitney

Whitney's secret fan unveiled
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In what must be every TV producers nightmare, a Swedish broadcaster was left red-faced this week after a porn film was accidentally shown in the background of a news bulletin.

Explicit scenes from a Czech porn film were aired during the midnight news item behind news anchorman Peter Dahlgren. "This is highly embarrassing and unfortunate," said Per Yng of broadcaster SVT. However very few complaints from viewers were registered and the interest of the media was more than just a little bit aroused.

It's embarrassing when crushes kept secret for a long time finally come to light, but it's even more so when you're Osama bin Laden and your desire to marry Whitney Houston is made known to the world.

A Sudanese novelist and poet claims in her autobiography that bin Laden once kept her against her will. During her time with him he is said to have told her that he thought "Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen" and that although her music was evil, he wanted to go to the US and make her his wife.

Proving that it ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it, research unveiled this week from Aberdeen University into jokes told in different accents claims that people from Birmingham make the best comedians as the accent is the most appealing.

Telling it in a Geordie or Scouser accent is almost as funny, but forget getting a laugh if you have a clipped Home Counties accent - just one per cent of people questioned found that accent funny. Aberdeen's Dr Harbridge told The Sun: "Perceived stupidity and amusement value go hand in hand."

Talking about stupidity, Simon Cowell was recently left embarrassed on public TV after a granny told him off. According to the Mirror, after the highly-waisted trouser wearer sniggered at 86-year-old Edna Moore's singing attempt, she tore strips off him, saying: "Listen Simon. You want to alter your ways. You think you're better than anybody. I think you were very ignorant. Yes - you were ignorant, Simon."

Although embarrassed, Simon obviously likes a good telling off, as he said afterwards: "I have to admit - it was fantastic."

Most people would be desperate to leave jail after a stint behind bars, but for one Austrian man being locked up was just too appealing. Detlef Federsohn, an Austrian convict, broke his way back into jail after serving two years for theft. Apparently the food was better than his mum could cook and life was "easier".

It won't come as a surprise to anyone who has had work carried out on their property, but a new report has found that British tradespeople drink the equivalent of more than a bathful of tea each year. Direct Line found that every year the average worker consumes roughly 900 cups of tea.

Andrew Lowe, head of home insurance at Direct Line, commented: "It's pleasing to see that we are showing our gratitude in that most British of ways - a nice cup of tea."


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