Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Thursday, 22, Oct 2009 03:09
Directed by Paul Weitz, out October 23rd in cinemas, starring John C Reilly, Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, Salma Hayek, Michael Cerveris, running time 108 mins.
In a nutshell...
Cartoonish, camp but no match for Edward and Bella.
What's it all about?
Based on the series of novels by Irish writer Darren Shan - whose lead character shares his name - tells of a teenage boy (Massoglia) who, after visiting a freak show, unwittingly breaks a centuries-old truce between two vampiric factions. Convinced he must become a vampire to save his best friend Steve (Hutcherson) from death, Darren finds himself drawn into a fantastical world of snake-boys, bearded ladies and wolfmen.
Who's in it?
Seventeen-year-old Chris Massoglia stars as Darren, having made his acting debut in 2007 action-adventure A Plumm Summer while co-stars include Oscar nominees John C Reilly and Salma Hayek, as well as 30 Rock's Jane Krakowski, Flight of the Conchords' Kristen Schaal and The Wire's Frankie Faison.
As an example...
"Life isn't meaningless." - Darren
"Tell me that after 200 years." - Larten
What the others say
"A talented ensemble helps this pull through despite a leaden lead, but it may still seem too childish for adults and too adult for kids." - Angie Errigo, Empire
"Like the unhappily undead kid at its heart, Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a film with a chronic identity crisis and no clear idea where it's headed." - Jon Fortgang, Channel 4 Film
So is it any good?
Vampires have never been sexier in the public's eyes if the success of The Twilight Saga and True Blood is anything to go by, but Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant manages to jettison almost all bloodsucker sympathy through its use of old-fashioned slapstick, overstuffed plot and painfully inadequate lead actor.
While John C Reilly revels in the silliness of a vampire with more in common with Hammer Horror than Edward Cullen, and Salma Hayek and Patrick Fugit do well in brief roles, Massoglia is simply awful as Darren. He's hammy, frequently blank and emotionless and sporting a haircut from 1982 - in short, he's been transported into an otherwise capable cast straight from the set of a Disney Channel movie.
It's a shame because there's fun to be had in the ghoulish, nightmare neon of the design, in the clever CGI and enthusiastic supporting cast. But thanks to Massoglia's charmless work and an untidy, confusing plot that sets up a hoped-for sequel in shameless fashion, Twihards need not fear that their vampire franchise of choice has a rival.
6/10
Lewis Bazley