Weird world
An African grey - just like Franklin the wiseguy parrot.
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Wednesday, 05, Dec 2007 05:11
We glance over this week's strangest stories including a ban on mince pies and a wisecracking parrot.
Japanese scientists found this week that chimpanzees are smarter than humans in some cases.
Three pairs of five-year-old chimps and their mothers were matched against a group of 12 students and required to remember the order in which a set of numbers flashed up on a touch screen.
But as the numbers would turn to white squares as soon as the first had been touched, the participants - both simian and human - had to remember the exact order in which they had appeared.
All of the young chimps scored higher than the students and even six months of training couldn't help the students defeat their genetic cousins.
So if you're looking to make a killing on the picture quiz on the pub quiz machine, you know what to do - get your own chimp.
A US couple had a bit of a shock when checking out of their hotel this week - and the man claimed the dirty movies listed on their bill had nothing to do with him.
Elijah Candy said he and his partner had not ordered any of the dozen films which appeared on their bill, telling reporters: "There's no ghost that's wanting to watch this type of stuff."
Well, how does he know? Maybe it gets lonely in the afterlife...
And while an ingenious London student answered the prayers of thousands of drinkers by inventing a 'SatLav' service which will guide people caught short to their nearest toilet, a Devon pensioner has been told this week that whenever he gets a touch of gas he'll have to go outside.
Maurice Fox, 77, received a letter from the Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton asking him to refrain from breaking wind while indoors.
The flatulent septuagenarian said he was surprised by the letter having never been given a verbal warning. Then again, he'd probably not been that courteous to fellow club-members.
However he said he would have no problem complying with the order, telling the BBC: "I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."
Christmas conventions were rubbished this week, after a Swedish consultancy claimed we've been very wrong about Santa Claus.
To make his yuletide deliveries to 2.5 billion homes around the globe, St Nick would need to commence his deliveries from Krygyzstan, spend just 34 microseconds in each child's house - presumably giving himself a stomach ache through having to wolf down the milk and cookies so quickly - and travel at speeds of 3,600 mph to make all the deliveries.
And unfortunately for Father Christmas, he'd be vaporised if he managed to convince the reindeer to fly that fast.
I think I prefer the original version.
And in another dose of Christmas spirit being wholly abandoned, a Welsh headteacher has banned mince pies - on health and safety grounds.
The mainstay of Christmas cuisine will not be sold at the Mynydd Cynffig Junior School fair in case a child suffers an allergic reaction.
Which would seem sensible until you consider that most people eat enough over the festive period to give themselves an allergic reaction to pretty much every food group for at least three or four months.
And finally, New Yorkers have been told to listen out for a unique feathered friend who is missing in the city this week.
Leigh Ann Frankel says her African grey parrot has a strong Brooklyn accent and starts every day with a chirpy "Hi mommy, how are ya?".
Hopefully Mrs Frankel's beloved parrot Franklin will be found - he could have a great career as a Mafia sidekick ahead of him.