Weird world
Aliens: going a bit pyro this week, apparently.
Also In The News
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Universal Music, out October 30th, 2007. |  |
Wednesday, 31, Oct 2007 05:05
A Halloween outfit is mistaken for a corpse and dog shoots man in this week's strangest news.
Kent librarian Gordon Jenns is hoping for an exorcist to get rid of his very own Moaning Myrtle.
According to the 61-year-old, the ghost flushes a library lavatory at around 19:00 on a Friday, when he thinks the staff have all gone home. But surely an exorcist is a bit drastic - couldn't they use the traditional library method of a snooty "shhhh"?
Moscow authorities have over-reacted a smidgeon this week in banning school students from celebrating Halloween due to its veneration of "the cult of death".
Education department spokesman said the imported festival was "destructive for the minds and the spiritual and moral health of the pupils" - eating lots of sweets is just bad for your teeth, isn't it?
However, Halloween celebrations did go particularly badly for one German man this week.
Joerg Reichter had gone to a Hamburg party dressed as a murder victim, but when he fell asleep on his subway ride home, worried (and presumably slightly gullible) fellow passengers mistook him for a corpse and called the police.
The 24-year-old was ordered to remove his fake blood and bandages to avoid more misunderstandings. That must have been one brilliant fancy dress costume.
A policeman in charge of road jurisdiction was charged with speeding this week, proving once and for all that no-one is above the law.
Meredydd Hughes, roads spokesman for the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo), is to be prosecuted for doing 90mph in a 60 zone.
According to Acpo, Mr Hughes' hobbies include rock climbing, running and mountain biking; probably best to stick to them rather than trying to emulate Lewis Hamilton, eh?
And in more police-related news, a German tearaway (what is it with Germany this week?) managed to give pursuing officers the slip after outrunning them in his go-kart.
That's right, they were in squad cars, he was in a mere go-kart - Michael Schumacher mk II?
An investigation into a series of fires in Sicily concluded that the blazes may have been caused by 'aliens testing secret weapons'.
Francesco Mantegna Venerando, who co-ordinated the report, said: "We are not saying little green men from Mars started the fires, but that unnatural forces capable of creating a large amount of electromagnetic energy were responsible.
"This is just one possibility. We are also looking at another one which involves the testing of top-secret weapons by an unknown power which are also capable of producing an enormous amount of energy."
So, little green men then, yeah?
And finally, in the type of news story that headline writers dream of, an Iowa hunter was this week the victim of "Dog shoots man".
James Harris, 37, had rested his rifle on the ground to collect a shot pheasant when a hunting dog 'accidentally' stepped on the trigger, releasing over 100 birdshot pellets into the man's calf from just over a metre away.
I like to think the hunter's furry friend was getting his own back for an assault on the animal kingdom - the same type of incident happens a few times a year, according to the Iowa natural resources department.