In Review

09 January 2009 11:43 BST

Nul Points by Tim Moore

Published by Jonathan Cape, out October 5th, paperback, 378 pages, £12.00.

In a nutshell…

Kitsch. Anecdotal. Wogan-esque. Travel. Extravaganza.


What's it all about?

Have you ever wondered how many pages the current Eurovision rule book runs to or even mused over why two-thirds of Belgians were lured to watch the competition in 2003? Possibly not, but you may at some point have asked yourself exactly how many Eurovision hopefuls have scored the embarrassment that is nul points.

All these details and more are covered in Moore's latest adventure as he charts the past, present and future of the 13 finalists who managed not one single point in the kitsch pastime that is Eurovision. Spurred on by his friend's entrance into the competition in 1989, Moore dots around the continent in chronological order of Eurovision under-achievement.

During this voyage we take in visits with the self-coined "Granddaddy of nul points" Jahn Tiegen, a brief gathering with the hapless (and ever-so-slightly raw) British pairing of Jemini and even the author's arrest in Norway for cannabis possession.

Who's it by?

Tim Moore, who lives in west London with his wife and three children. He has written for a number of titles including the Daily Telegraph, the Observer, the Sunday Times and Esquire. Previous works have been in the similar vein of unusual travel journeys and included French Revolutions, Spanish Steps and Do Not Pass Go – the latter tracking the author's trip around the Monopoly Board.

As an example…

Chris and Gemma [Jemini] accept a lager each and sit on the sofa facing out across the fat brown Mersey mudflats; Alan and I take our places on its opposite twin. "Well, ok," I begin, awkwardly uncertain how to tackle the novelty of a nul point pair, but also aware that the meter's already running.

Likelihood of becoming a Hollywood blockbuster

Although it's certainly not going to fly off the shelves in the fashion of the latest John Grisham novel, Nul Points will certainly shift a few copies on the time-honoured three for two offers. As a spot of light entertainment it will be popular, although it may have been better timed for a release in May to pre-empt Eurovision and the summer book rush. Don't hold your breath for the Paramount film adaptation, however.

What the others say

"The world's funniest travel writer turns his pen to the Eurovision Song Contest and the 13 heroic failures who achieved the distinction of winning – yes – nul points." The Observer.

"Hailed as the new Bill Bryson, he is in fact a writer of considerably more substance." The Irish Times.

So is it any good?

Well, yes. Sort of. The problem with the Eurovision Song Contest – as anyone who has met a true connoisseur of the occasion will testify - is that it attracts a particularly obsessive and dedicated fan base. And here lies the issue, as Moore himself is not just an observer to the events of the book but one of the legions of followers with an overly pronounced interest.

How else is it possible to explain a book that is patently 100 pages too long? What is just shy of 400 pages for the description of 13 meetings with Eurovision failures (not all of whom Moore actually spoke to) smacks of more than a slight overkill.

Having said this, Moore's writing is undoubtedly entertaining and a number of great anecdotes lift proceedings considerably. The liberal peppering of competition trivia will certainly delight a small minority but leave many holding out for the classic Jemini encounter. An amusing read nonetheless - but probably one for the fans most truthfully.

6.5/10

Jamie Coggans