First drafts: The Spice Girls musical
What will be the plot of the Spice Girls musical?
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Friday, 22, Jan 2010 12:05
Paging Simon Fuller and Mammia Mia! creator Judy Craymer: If you're looking for plot inspiration for your Spice Girls musical, your search is over.
By Lewis Bazley.
Broadway and West End theatre bosses must be rubbing their hands together with glee; if the Spice Girls musical - with a pretty naff working title of Viva Forever - comes anywhere near the box office popularity of Mamma Mia!, we're set for a good decade of the sound of cash registers ringing to the tune of Wannabe and Spice Up Your Life. Fuller and Craymer's announcement might have been greeted with a girlish scream by the redtops but, if you think about it, it's actually surprising it's taken this long for the idea to come to fruition. With the populism of the Spice Girls repertoire, its mind-numbing catchiness, the extent to which you can easily stamp a message - girl power, friends forever, aren't mums great? - over a major chord ballad. how has anyone not already made a Spice Girls musical? Hell, a tearjerker like 2 Become 1 can be shoehorned into a stage storyline far easier than Radio GaGa! As an added bonus, there's absolutely no need for Ben Elton to be involved.
It's safest to presume that Craymer will follow a similar story template to that of Mamma Mia! - likeable heroine, broad comedy, romance and some knowing winks for the adults. And just take a glance at the Spice Girls' stunning three-year run of hits (with just one of eight releases failing to reach number one). This story writes itself! Sure, we'll have to play around with the chronology a bit, but Fuller and Craymer are welcome to give me a call after reading this.
Here's my plot outline with all of, ooh, 25 minutes' thought put into it.
South London girl Jenny, in her early 20s, has never dreamed of escaping her poor background. After her ne'er-do-well father left the family home when Jenny was just eight years old, she let her school work take a background seat to being the woman of the house and raising her aspiring dancer of a younger sister, while their mother worked two jobs to provide for the family. But when one of Jenny's oldest friends announce she is to marry, and has a big hen night planned, Jenny has a chance for a night off from her tough life - maybe even a chance to find love...
And there we have it. A fairly simple set-up, full of potential for rousing dance numbers, deep and meaningful encounters and romantic interludes. How do the songs fit in? Well, with another five or maybe six minutes' of effort, below is a fairly rock solid running order.
Spice Up Your Life - Opens the show, with Jenny feeling under the weather, and unsure whether to attend the hen night, until her perennially chirpy younger sister insists she makes the most of an evening out.
Stop - While enjoying the hen night with her school friends, Jenny and the group decide enough is enough and reject the advances of some sleazy suitors.
2 Become 1 - But not all of the men Jenny meets are ghastly and after a little montage showing our heroine and her new man enjoying days out together, this ballad backs their big romantic night.
Wannabe - Disaster! Jenny's boyfriend Mark makes an off-the-cuff insulting comment about one of her friends, sparking this song and dance number as Jenny insists that "friendship never ends".
Too Much - A solitary Jenny ruminates on whether she can live without Mark.
Mama - Still arguing with Mark, Jenny arranges a heart-to-heart with her mother, with tearful outbursts from both.
Say You'll Be There - After Jenny's mum explains that Mark was a better man the father that left them, Jenny reunites with her boyfriend, making him promise to love her forever
Viva Forever - The whirlwind romance is sealed with a wedding. Obviously.
Who Do You Think You Are? - And for the big rousing finish, Jenny exhorts her little sister auditions to find her inner superstar as she auditions for a scholarship to dance school. Will she get in? Come on...
That should do it, right? We've got everything we need there, love, laughs, tears, tantrums - it's a hit. Mr Fuller, Ms Craymer - you're welcome. Give me a call and we'll sort out the royalties.
A fairly girly feature out of the way, I'm going to listen to Bruce Springsteen and confirm that I do indeed still have a Y chromosome...